It’s that time of year again to dust off your dress shoes, pull out the etiquette books, and remind yourself of the simple courtesies of being a guest.  Regardless of whether you are attending an office party or neighborhood party or even hosting one, polish up on your etiquette.  Not only will it ensure your comfort and success at the party but your guests’ success as well.

• Invitations – all invitations should include the basics:  who, what, when, where, why.  It is also nice to list a dress code, but if it is not, a phone call to the host is appropriate.
  • R.S.V.P. – It means reply. Please honor the host with a reply as soon as possible.
     
• Arrival – Getting to the party on time is important, but when to arrive?  
  • Dinner party – never arrive more than 10-15 minutes late and never arrive early unless you have been asked to help the host.  
  • Restaurant date – arrive no more than 5 minutes late. 
  • Cocktail party – usually a cocktail party is a bit more fluid.  Arriving 10-15 sometimes 30 minutes late is appropriate.
     
• Attire – Use the following as guidelines when deciding your party dress.
  • “Holiday Casual ” – means business casual with some holiday colors or designs but please watch the skin and glitter, business etiquette still prevails
  • “Business Casual” – Men should wear a seasonal sport coat or blazer, pressed slacks or khaki and open-collar shirt or mock turtleneck.  Women should wear a skirt, pressed khakis or slacks and nice blouse, sweater and jacket option.  (no camisoles or spaghetti straps)
  • “Dressy Casual” – Men should wear a seasonal sport coat or blazer and slacks with a dress shirt-tie is not mandatory.  Women should wear a knee or appropriate length (not above the knee) dress or skirt and dressy top or dressy coordinated pants outfit.
  • “Festive” – This can be a bit more risky.  If you are in a business setting, choose your outfit with care and defer to “holiday casual”.  If you are in a social setting men should wear a seasonal sport coat or blazer, slacks, open collar shirt or mock turtleneck and if desired a festive tie.  Women have the option of wearing short cocktail dresses, long dressy skirts and tops or a coordinated dressy pants outfit.
     
• Wine or Cocktails? – At a business event, always remember that you are still being evaluated by your superiors and peers.  If you find it difficult to limit your alcohol intake, you may choose to carry a glass of sparkling water.  You wouldn’t want to find yourself dancing on the table later.
   
• Cell Phones – Give it a rest at the party.  Remove all earpieces and electronic attachments prior to arriving and turn your phone to vibrate or off.  Never answer your phone during dinner or in conversation with another guest.
   
• Conversation – It’s been said that “loose lips sink ships?”  
  • No off color or dirty jokes
  • No politics, sex, or religion
  • No office gossip
     
• Paying the Bill – If you were invited to attend a dinner out, you are not expected to pay.
   
• Tipping – This is always a touchy subject, especially during the holidays.  If you get poor service, it is still proper to tip, simply reduce the amount.  Use your common sense when tipping for those who make your life easier (hairdresser, driver, day care worker, postal worker) below are a few guidelines that will help.
  • Salon Staff – $10-$60 each, giving the most to those who do the most
  • Teacher – gift, not cash (check policy of school)
  • Trash Collector – $10-$20 each
  • Yard and Garden – $20-$50
  • Personal Trainer, Message Therapist, etc. – Cost of one session
  • Postal Carrier – Government regulations permit up to $20
  • Housekeeper – 1 day’s pay
     
• Gifting 
  • At the office – if your boss gives you a gift simply acknowledge the gift.  It is not expected to reciprocate.  You may choose to bring in cookies to the office.
  • As a dinner guest – if you are invited to dinner at someone’s home a hostess gift is always appropriate.  If you bring a bottle of wine, do not expect the host to use it that evening unless you have made prior arrangements.
  • As weekend guest – it is appropriate to bring a small gift to the host to show your appreciation.  A bottle of wine, gift certificate or dinner out is an appropriate gift.  Once home, a hand written thank you note of appreciation is also a nice gesture.
     
• Leaving – Thank  the host(s) to acknowledge their generosity and say your good-byes.

Remember as a guest, be a guest and as the host treat everyone as a guest.  When in doubt always defer to common courtesy and “the golden rule” and you will eliminate many sticky situations.  There you have it, simple easy reminders for your happy holiday parties.  Have fun and enjoy the season.

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Posted by: Karen Hughes, Founder of Image Assets, an Image Consulting Firm serving the Alpharetta and Metro Atlanta areas. As a seasoned certified image consultant, Karen follows a simple philosophy: educate, empower, and enrich the lives of her clients. Her philosophy is enmeshed throughout her practice and can be observed in her workshops, clinics, and one-on-one consultations. Her energetic and interactive style makes her a sought-after training resource for organizations and individuals alike. Even the most difficult topics seem effortless for Karen as she tackles such challenges as professional etiquette, business dress personal image and body shape.

Posted by Karen Hughes on December 3rd, 2008 in Etiquette, Events, Wardrobe